appropriate in a situation. They can't define that that's God's position.
And so rather than finding joy in what is right, I actually find joy in what I want. So right now, what I want is to play the game, I don't give a rip that mom is in the midst of a disaster that will embarrass her. You know what's functioning there? The idol of comfort. It's idolatry. Now, how helpful it would be to actually begin to talk idol worship with your children? You will rescue their hearts in doing that. Now you can feel my passion. Here's what I think. Your children don't know this stuff. They don't know it. They've been given parents so parents can teach them these wonderful truths. You know, when your 7-year-old is lazy and you say, "Why are you lazy?" He doesn't say, "Well, I'm an idolater, don't you know? I constantly give my heart to false gods. I insert myself in God's position all the time. You shouldn't be surprised. You're a sinner, too." Well, you never hear that because a child doesn't think that way. It's your job to begin to help the child to think that way. Some children, they are attracted by the idol of acceptance and they ride the roller coaster of other people's opinion of them. Any children that way in your home? Or the idol of comfort, they don't want to do anything that's uncomfortable. Or the idol of control, that's the little diva on the playground who tells her girlfriends, "We're all wearing party dresses tomorrow." Who does she think she is? Well, a little self-sovereign. She's the queen of that domain and she thinks she can go to her girlfriends and command them to do something and they will do it. Little Sally goes home and says, "Mommy, I got to wear a party dress tomorrow to school." Mom says, "Why?" She says, "Because Mary told me to." Mary's in the wrong position. She shouldn't be in that position. Mary is now the fourth member of the Trinity. There's only three and all the seats are taken. You see, your root character in the worship of the heart – let me say that again – your root character issues in the worship of the heart, so when mom walks into the room where the kids are playing the Wii, what's your question? Well, here's a good question. Right now, what's important to you? What's important to you right now? What should be important to you right now? Now you don't have this conversation. "Do you know what I do for you? I do and I do for you and this is the thanks I get? I don't ask for much, just children who have a twit of love once in a while. If I treated you the way you treat me, guess what your life would be like?" Now, when you're doing that, you think your children are saying, "My, this is helpful. This is a wise person. I can feel my character changing right now. You see, because it misses the point. It's not about you. Those children are not thinking, "We're just going to make life hard for mom." That's not what they're thinking. They're thinking selfishly. "I would rather have my comfort and my pleasure to invest myself in work, so I'll choose pleasure. That's idolatry because pleasure and the desire for pleasure is in the position that God should be because pleasure is setting the agenda for my words and behavior. Now if you do that, talk about your own idols to your kids. Let them know this is a struggle for you, too. Let them know that you need the rescuing grace of Jesus as much as they do. I was in northern India. I was on a four-day research tour of Hinduism. It was four hard days and I was in Rishikesh, which is one of the high holy cities of Hinduism; and we, in our journeys, had visited this temple that was supposed to be one of the purest incarnations of the god, Shiva. It was literally – this will embarrass you – a 20-foot high male, sexual organ. And pilgrims would come in, they would fall flat on their faces, they would grab the base of that idol and they would kiss it. I interviewed a dirt poor Indian family who had gone on a pilgrimage for several months. They had literally walked 400 miles to get to this temple and they were weeping as they grabbed this item. It was the darkest scene I've ever been in and I found myself running out of the temple. I was running down a dirt road to get to my four-wheel drive vehicle. I was praying, thanking God that I was not like this people and then it hit me. I am.
Transcript: Session 7
GETTING TO THE HEART OF PARENTING
65
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